Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Widow Wednesday--Important support

I know a few weeks ago I did a whole post on the support from my WTE mom group. I wanted to touch on the support from my other friends. I don't want to call out specific people because no matter how big or small the help it is all remembered and appreciated.

So often I get asked, "What should I do for someone that is going through the same thing?" and honestly every person is different. Different people need different support while going through this. We were fortunate enough to have the help of family and friends when it came to things around the house or help watching the kids, etc. We had good medical insurance and didn't really incur any bills from his illness. We regularly received calls and texts asking what we needed. People would drop off food and send cards.

At the time I would hate people asking how I was doing, because I wasn't sick. Looking back I realize how important that was. I know I probably just said "fine", but opening that communication is important. No one can understand that role unless they are in it. I never wanted attention on me, as I said I was "fine" I wasn't sick.

After Ray died the people that included us for a sense of normalcy and to get us back out. I won't forget the friends that invited us out to eat with them, to events, etc. Some of these same friends have been through some things now and I have always felt bad that I haven't been able to support in the same way. That is one thing I have learned. I can help other widows and talk to them, support them, or people that are sick, but when someone has lost someone I can't seem to face it.

I had friends step up and put on fundraisers for the girls. I can't say how much this means. A big fear for me is always how to pay for potential medical bills they may one day have. That money is all tucked away for when they should need it.

I could probably make this a very long post with everything that was done and the support we received but just knowing I had people to lean on and give us a sense of a normal life back meant the world.

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