I have seen a lot of talk about preparedness the past week after the crazy weather the US has experienced, particularly Texas. What exactly does this mean though? Especially in a loss sense.
Can you ever really be prepared?
In the case of losing my spouse I don't think I could have ever have been prepared. I have watched friends lose spouses suddenly and know that they are even less prepared. You never think to yourself that you will lose your spouse, especially at 30.
The argument is you have time when the person is ill to prepare, but by preparing are you giving up hope? That is how my spouse thought of it. In the end a lot was not taken care of because he felt it was giving up to do the necessary things. I was left without knowledge of where a lot of things were. I never paid a bill while he was alive, accessed any accounts, even something as simple as put gas in my car.
Emotionally, you know you will have to live without that person but you still don't know what that will be like until they are gone and you now don't have that person to lean on anymore.
Would I do things differently now and be more prepared? I think so. A lot was made harder by not being prepared. Sometimes the hard conversations that you don't want to have need to be had and stuff that is put off needs to be taken care of.
Waiting until it is too late or things do happen is not the time to wish you had prepared.