Widow Wednesday--Workplace support during illness

Ray loved his job. He loved kids and the ones that were difficult were the ones he loved the most. Why? Maybe because they reminded him of himself when he was in school or maybe he just liked the challenge. He would get up early and go into school for breakfast every morning to socialize and help out. He would spend hours downloading songs from playlists the kids had made so he could DJ the school dances. If he knew a kid would struggling at home he would do what he could to help make things a little brighter.

His co-workers were a huge part of his life. They weren't just friends and co-workers but truly family to him. I can tell he was seen in the same light by his co-workers and students when he became sick. The outpouring of support was incredible.

At the time Detroit Public Schools would allow co-workers to donate hours to other staff that needed the time off. They would continue receiving pay during their illness, but their insurance would be cut. Ray made this his mission to keep the insurance active arguing that insurance when someone is ill is more important than even pay. Doctors, hospitalizations, and treatments are all extremely expensive and insurance was needed. After a lot of back and forth they did side with him and implemented as long as they had hours they would continue receiving their insurance. He received more hours than he even ended up needing to use. This was a huge display of kindness from his co-workers.

Letters, phone calls, and visits were all very important to him. The union rep from his school also sent him a card/letter updating him continuously. They weren't get well cards but rather funny cards. They were updates in life and what was going on with the rest of the staff. He looked forward to receiving these. She even continued to send them when she was out of the country over summer vacation.

While he was sick the community he was in had a support walk in his honor. I was overwhelmed by not only the money that was raised but by the participation in the walk. The local community all came together and the students made signs showing support and walked holding them. He received photos of all the kids and the signs. I still look at them today and think about how the kids that he loved so much all came together to show him the same support.

I still remember the students that came to his funeral. Parents telling us how they drove from Detroit to make it because their child didn't want to miss it. All the messages on facebook from students that found my account and wanted me to know how he impacted their lives. I still will on occasion receive them...9 years later.

After he died the school planted a tree in his honor and put up a plaque. They had a ceremony that they invited us to when they planted it. A year or two after he died we went to tie a purple ribbon to his tree for stomach cancer awareness month and when we arrived the tree was being watered. It meant a lot to all of us that even a while later the tree was being taken care of and hopefully would be part of that school a very long time.

His school holds a cultural event every year and we were invited to it the first year after he died. They had a wall decorated in his honor. This event was always something he looked forward to every year. Halls were decorated and they had an ethnic luncheon. It meant a lot to our family to be a part of the event.

I know that he will never be forgotten by the people that he touched in his short time here and the impact he made on his students is something that will live on in them.

Last year of my 30's

The last year of my 30's...if you had told me I would be in the position I am in 10 years ago I would never have believed it. I remember my dad telling me 30's was his favorite age because he had his kids and was in a good position at work with a stable income/future. I remember at 29 thinking my 30's would be the same. Instead my 30's were filled with learning how to do everything myself and finding the person I want to be. It has been filled with anxiety about just what the future will hold. I have learned so much about myself in the last 10 years. I am definitely stronger than I thought and able to do more than I ever imagined I could.

I thought it would be fun to tell a few things about myself in honor of my birthday and to get to know me better.

1. I am an introvert. I hate more than anything going to parties and being in large groups of people. I think sometimes I can come off as rude, but am just super shy. I hate being the center of attention and even had a small, intimate wedding ceremony because I didn't want everyone looking at me. Making small talk is extremely difficult for me especially if you aren't someone I know well.

2. I am the oldest of 3 children. I am a typical oldest child. I follow rules and my parents were toughest on me. My sister is 8 years younger than me and definitely grew up differently than I did.

3. I only applied to one college because I wanted to go to school where my dad. My dad had season Michigan football tickets my entire life and started taking me when I was around 8 and that was the only place I ever wanted to go to school.

4. I went to school for psychology, but took a ton of classes in communications, so I decided to double major. I was only a few classes away from also earning a marketing degree. I loved school and would have just continued being a student if I could have. I went on to pursue a master's degree in school and community counseling (I was doing both tracks) but didn't complete my practicum or internship to graduate. I had two babies at home and decided I wasn't going to return to work so I should just put it on hold.

5. Every job I have ever had was offered to me.

6. I drink Starbucks every day. I could eat McDonald's every day if my kids would let me. I prefer fast food and normal American food over any other kind of food. I am a huge donut/cake lover.

7. My Grandma was my favorite person and I always felt closest to her growing up. I loved spending time with her. She was the most patient, grateful person I have ever met. She was kind to everyone and just died a few years ago at 99.

8. I have a huge family. My dad was one of 11 kids so I have a ton of cousins. Everyone has always been super close but I always wonder if this is where my hate of large groups comes from haha.

9. I always wanted to go into fashion and that was my passion but I didn't want to move away. I thought if I pursued fashion I would have to move to NYC or California.

10. I love traveling and for most of my birthdays I have been on some sort of vacation. I have memories of vacations all over.

As I close out my last year of my 30's I am grateful for my family and friends and all the support they have shown me. I know I have gotten through these tough last 10 years because of them.

My outfit is sold out but linked a shirt I own in the same color, shoes, and bracelet below.

Widow Wednesday--July

July, should be the month of fun in the sun. Summer vacation is finally here and time to have some fun, yet this is one of the hardest months for me without Ray. I seem to be super emotional during this month. Maybe because when he was here, this was our time with him. Even though he was still working we would get to see him more. Technically, this was his summer vacation from work too.

I think the family vacations and daily outings are just another reminder of things he is missing out on. Things he will never get to do with his girls. They never got to have a real summer with him that they will remember. I see families at the park playing or taking walks through the subdivision. All reminders of things he misses out on.

I remember his last 4th of July he was wrapped in a heated blanket in fleece pants to sit outside and watch the fireworks. He always loved fireworks and really wanted to watch them. He was all skin and bones and so sick but wanted to be on the back patio.

For some reason my birthday seems to be a hard day. I remember my first birthday without him was my 31st and since on my 30th he was very sick I didn't really do much. For my 31st birthday a group of my sweet friends had a surprise party for me and my parents surprised me with a trip to Miami to see one of my best friends. I remember blowing out my candles on my 31st birthday and everyone saying make a wish and thinking my one wish can't come true. I was spending my birthday without him. Every year is just another reminder of a year past without him her and everything that he missed during that year.

July is also our anniversary. It is so weird to think I have been without him more years than with him.

Maybe because July was the last month I had with him that makes it hard I don't know. I am just so grateful that I can make memories with the girls and don't take one minute of it for granted.

4th of July Style Inspo!

I can't believe 4th of July is already around the corner! The first few years of my life the 4th of July meant a huge party at my house that was a shared birthday party for my aunt and I.  Now I almost feel like the 4th of July is the start of the end of summer. Soon school supplies will be back on shelves and fall clothes will be hitting the racks. Nordstrom sale will be on every blogger's mind. Summer seems to fly after the 4th!

I bought this cute dress a while ago with the plans to shoot it as the weather warmed up and link, but of course by the time the weather has warmed up it is now sold out. I have scoured the internet for other cute USA pieces, some of which I own and others that I just think are really cute.

I have a similar pair of red flat sandals from last year that I loved to pair with my USA sweatshirt and to add a pop of color to other outfits. This year Target came out with a wedge pair and I had to have them. I will almost always buy a wedge over a flat because I am so short and last year it wasn't an option.

I am going to link below a bunch of cute 4th of July options and the pieces that I am wearing that are still in stock!

Liketoknow.it Day coming sunday!

What is Liketoknow.it (LTK) Day?

The app LTK has partnered with a group of retailers to do exclusive discounts this Sunday, June 23 through the app. The participating brands include:

Abercrombie and Fitch
Anthropologie
Colleen Rothschild
Express
Kendra Scott
Outdoor Voices
Serena & Lily
Sole/Society
The Styled Collection
Urban Outfitters
Victoria Emerson


What is Liketoknow.it?

LTK is a shopping app. I have been using it even before I was an influencer on it. It is like a Pinterest for shopping for lack of a better way of describing it. It has a feed that updates that can be browsed multiple ways. You can browse the feed of the influencers that you follow, you can browse all influencers, you can browse by putting in search terms like maxi dress, or by using the categories on the top such as family, under 50, etc. Unlike Pinterest though, all the items are linked and shoppable. You just click the product and it takes you directly to the store to buy it! I also use the app for fashion inspiration to browse styles and save them to recreate later.

It is easy to shop the sale! All you have to do is:

1. Download the Liketoknow.it app
2. Shop!
3. When you click on a product that is part of the sale a popup will appear with the LTK day code for the discount, just copy the code, and paste when you make your purchase!

Starting yesterday, I have been posting in my Instagram stories (youngwidowedstylishmama) looks from the sale. I have been linking everything in my LTK profile on the app (youngwidowedstylishmama). You can get a head start by "hearting" looks that you love from stores that are offering the promotion to go back and shop when the sale starts on Sunday.

Widow Wednesday--Blog update/ End of the school year!

I know my blog has been quiet, not for lack of things to post about, but because of the weather and how busy life has been. I haven't been able to keep up with shooting outfit posts because the weather here in Michigan has not cooperated at all. It is the middle of June and still pretty rainy and cool. I had some indoor ideas, but no one to shoot them if I am in them. Now that the kids are home my mini photographer can get back to shooting some looks for me. We already did one this week so look for a post soon! 

Plain busyness has also kept me from being able to post. The end of the school year is always so busy with dance recitals, end of year field trips, school activities, and photo shoots. It seems like time just flies after Easter. We also went on a cruise at the end of May which seemed to only make things go by faster. I am thinking of doing a post on cruises too. What to bring, helpful tips, etc. 

So that is a little blog update and why it has been so quiet, but I also wanted to touch on the end of the school year and this one in particular. This one ended a chapter for us here in the Chaptini household, we are out of elementary school. I am so sad about this. They say time flies and it really does. I can't believe both of the girls are done with the longest span they will have at a school and it went that fast. That just means the rest of schooling will probably go by just as fast. This also means we are that much closer to them being 18 and tested for the gene, which is something that makes me so anxious. I know I have talked about this before but while most kids are thinking about what they want to do in the future after high school I can't help but think about this being the beginning of what might be a long journey for them having to make a lot of other choices. College may not be a priority for either of them, but instead their health. Even though this is quite a ways away I just know how quickly it goes and it will be here before I know it. 

School endings used to be very exciting for us because Daddy would be home with us. My husband was a teacher, for those that don't know, and although he worked during the summer his other job and even summer school we would still see him more. 

School endings and ceremonies at school are just another time that I feel sad and think about how much their Dad is missing out on. I know he is always there, like on Lily's graduation morning my memory that popped up was a picture of us on her 2nd birthday (his last one alive) and some songs played that day that always make me feel like he had something to do with them coming on. In fact, the last little bit before school ended I heard a lot of songs on the radio that reminded me of him. I know I am lucky that the girls have a lot of support from other family that were at the graduation but it still made me sad to have to stand alone when they asked for parents to stand that were leaving the school that year. I know he would have been so proud to be there. 

Now that summer is officially here I hope to have the time to get back to my blog, because this is something i have truly missed doing!

Mother's Day Gift Guide & What I really want

I thought I would put together a Mother's Day gift guide, but thought what do I love most and really want for Mother's Day? My honest answer is healthy, happy kids and homemade gifts from the heart. Those are what I really want. I love when my kids come home so excited to give me something that they made. Even the little notes I find around the house throughout the year make me know I am doing something right. For those that want to treat themselves or someone wants to treat them I put together a little gift guide. I included items for dog/cat moms and even step/bonus moms.

Most of the things I seemed to be drawn to were pampering items or things to relax. One of my favorite items I own is the steamer I linked. This little thing came in handy when I was between espresso machines. I would use my Keurig to brew espresso coffee and steam my milk in the steamer and make my own mochas at home. The girls like to use it to steam lemonade to make medicine balls. It is so easy to use and quick.

I love to read, so any book is always appreciated. I have been hooked on Elin Hilderbrand books lately. Every one I have read I don't want it to end because I feel like I am so attached to the characters.

A good "mom" graphic tee is always fun to wear. I found dog mom, bonus mom, and even some funny saying shirts to link. These are easy to throw on and when you just look like a mess and want everyone to know it is due to #momlife!

The camera is a HUGE splurge item, but that is what I really need! A fun, cheaper option is this camera we have one and love to bring it on trips and put together a little memory book with the photos.

A few of the stores that always have cute little gifts items like the name plate I linked, mugs, frames, candles, and jewelry are Charming Charlies, Francesca's, Urban Oufitters, and Anthropologie.

Of course, gift cards for Starbucks, mani/pedis, or other activities are always an easy gift. Thinking outside the box, like a gift card to do a cooking class at Sur La Table or maybe making a craft at a local retailer is something different and unexpected. A subscription box is also another unique idea. They have so many options of different boxes now you are sure to find something suitable. 

Whether the gift be big or small, store bought or from the heart I hope everyone has a nice Mother's Day and is appreciated in some way. Even if you have to spoil yourself!